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There. Evil thoughts.
9:18 PM

Before I proceed on my blog post today, let me just briefly share this one incident I encountered today while shopping at Shop N' Save. Ok so I was going to pay for my M&M dark chocolate (this version of M&M is DAMN NICE LAR!), then I was wondering, why is the cashier beside my lane counting a BIG stack of $50 notes in her hand when there is a guy waiting in the queue. Well, apparently, the guy, who looks like a china construction worker, gave her a $1000 note for some $2 stuff. Yep you heard me right. The cashier is counting $998 worth of notes to return as his change.
Too bad I can't see any potential robbers in the vicinity.

Ok back to today's blog content! I'm really excited! For every movie lovers, this movie is a MUST-WATCH! Everywhere you go you can already see posters of the movie on the elevator doors, in the toilet cubicles staring at you doing your stuff, ANYWHERE! Still have no clue which movie I'm talking about? It's the MOVIE BLOCKBUSTER of this summer: SPIDERMAN 3!

For your info, all cinemas have already been almost fully booked for it's premier date - May 1st. Unless you intend to break your neck after sitting through 130 minutes of the show on the first 2 rows, I would HIGHLY suggest you BOOK your tickets ONLINE before you go down to the theatre. For me, I would be going to watch this awesome movie on May 3rd and yes, I've already reserved my ticket online. For those clueless, here's the movie trailer that got me all excited since last year.



Look at the BLACK SPIDEY! Awesome awesome stuff. You REALLY gotta catch this movie, or else everyone would be talking about black spiderman when you're the only one wondering: "Ain't Spiderman RED??".



There. Evil thoughts.
1:46 AM

Firstly, let me just apologize for the error in information I made on my blog yesterday. Apparently, the price of $29.50 will ONLY get you the 37 minutes ride. All those goodies I was talking about, the cocktail and the souvenir stuff will cost you $69. Yep you heard me right. $69 whopping dollars for keeping the cocktail glass. IKEA anyone?
(If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're probably 1. Not a Singaporean 2. Didn't know IKEA sells cheap $3.90 cocktail glass or 3. Don't understand English)

Anyways, back to what I'm going to blog about today. Here's one really interesting statistics consolidated by someone who had nothing better to do.

Look at the statistics! We have sex for 4239 times throughout our entire life! And interestingly 4239 is the number of toilet rolls used in a lifetime! LOL.

The very one statistics that I'm interested in how they go about collecting it - 35815 litres of FART passed. I mean, lol, do they have one guy following you around all day, maybe holding some special instruments to calculate how much air you let out?!
Imagine this, you're going to work, you get in an elevator full of people, with the "measuring-fart-guy", and suddenly, you decide to let out a fart. "PROOOOOT!"
Just when you're going to do that "eew-did-you-fart" kind of reaction, the measure-fart-guy tells you:"That's 3 litres worth of fart, sir." And when you turn around, everyone has fainted.

Oh wells. For anyone who's interested in knowing your very own statistics, click on the link below and just simply select your birth date. Just don't fart when we're in the same lift.



There. Evil thoughts.
12:50 AM

Oh wells got a new skin. Previous one was too plain and abit amateurish. Now my blog LOOKS LIKE A PRO WAHAHAHA. Anyways. Just caught the movie Nightmare Detective, and well, it was pretty much a nightmare to watch. I will post up the movie review sometime later, so watch this space!

Have you guys seen the almost-completed GIGANTIC ferris-wheel at Marina Bay? It's really magnificent and looks pretty fun to play.



The ride is a whopping 37 minutes and costs only $29.50! It's gonna be opened soon around March 2008 and tickets are already on sale now. And.. they will serve you a free cocktail and you get to KEEP THE COCKTAIL GLASS! Wow! I've never heard of giving free wineglass as souvenirs!

Sounds really romantic to sit on the ferris wheel, enjoying the breathtaking night scenery and complete with a glass of cocktail for half an hour! Singapore is getting really exciting. Can't wait to enter the themepark in the IRs and the CASINOS! Now.. where did my parents hide their credit cards...

P.S Look out for Chingy's list and Arian movie review #3 soon!

There. Evil thoughts.
1:24 AM

Just caught "200 Pounds Beauty" on Thursday. An interesting fact to share before I proceed to my movie review. Did you know that about 50% of Korean woman in their 20's have gone through some kind of cosmetic operation? Cosmetic surgery among Koreans got so popular that they even allocated a WHOLE STREET IN SEOUL called "Plastic Surgery Street" or "Apkujong"! Now you know why female Koreans look all the same. And that is why I don't watch Korean shows ever. You go like:" Huh? Isn't she the girl who got killed?!" Then you realise they are two different person after the credits roll.

Well, I can't imagine if this Apkujong concept gets popular in Thailand (well-known for transvestites). A WHOLE STREET FULL OF THEM, go imagine. And alot of "meat" in surgery clinics. Eeew.



Rating/Category: PG/ (Pretty obvious ain't it? This means COMEDY like duh)

Plot: An ugly fat woman, Hanna, was pretty much ignored by people even though she is so "eye-catching" But, despite all that, she is still an optimistic woman until she was ridiculed by a woman, Ammy, in front of her crush Sang-jun. SURPRISE! She decides to go for a cosmetic surgery. Will she get the love and attention she always longed?

Review: Well, you know Korean shows always have the talent to make you cry and laugh simultaneously? This romantic-comedy pretty much sums up what is HOT in Korea and that beauty, natural or artificial, is pretty much appreciated in the society. Obesity is frowned upon.. now...... who ever thought that fat is pretty in the Tang dynasty?!

Lots of laughs about obesity, like having great trouble squeezing through people, XLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL jeans etc. There are also emotional moments when Hanna recalls the times she was being ridiculed, and I ALMOST broke into tears. You know the chinese saying about how guys "shouldn't cry but shed blood". Phew. It's hard being a guy, especially when you see tissues are being passed around among the girls. And NO THANKS NO THAILAND I CAN STILL COPE WELL BEING A GUY.

Anyways the really nice factor that you should watch this movie would be the "free live concert" The song "Maria" sung by Hanna is pretty good and it keeps ringing in your head even after you've stepped out of the theater. The spectacular effects like fireworks, enthusiastic fans in the concert hall almost made me stand up and wave my popcorn. The song is also topping music charts in Korea and I heard the ringtone for this song is in everyone's handphone.

Now, one kind of group should really give out free tickets of this show. Who? You might ask. Slimming parlors of course! You'll get people flocking to your centres, especially after the decline in customers because of the recent China woman raid!

Rating:

There. Evil thoughts.
12:58 AM

I'm so in love with these 2 countries: Japan and Taiwan. Let's talk about Taiwan first. One thing about Taiwan that beats Singapore HANDS DOWN is TV Entertainment. Just look at the kind of shows we have on Channel 8. There's this 9pm show now called the "Thirteen Strokes", and just look at the cast - ALL UNCLES oh please. Then look at other local variety shows. They are such a remedy for insomniacs - simply watching them for 5 minutes puts you off to sleep IMMEDIATELY. However, look at Taiwan's TV entertainment. Not to mention they have tons of famous idol/serial dramas, their variety shows are FUNNY AND NICE LAR. Here's an example.

WARNING! Stomach cramps expected while watching.

Part I:



Part II:



Funny ain't it! There are alot more variety shows in Taiwan that are funny and entertaining like I guess x3, Zhou Ri Ba Dian Dang etc. Do a search on Youtube on them, watch, and laugh, both at the shows and the quality of variety shows aired in Singapore. Oh well.
There's also the girls in Taiwan which I will not mention LOL. I'll talk about why I love japan sometime later.

Well, I guess I'm not that patriotic. There's nothing to be proud of Singapore just as yet, for me. Yeah yeah we often hear from politicians, teachers, Ah Ma, that we should be proud of Singapore but looking at the current state of Singapore, whether in terms of entertainment, thoughts, fashion etc, it's still a long long way to go from reaching what I desire from a country. A combination of Taiwan and Japan. Ahhh..

P.S: Look out for my Arian Movie Review #2 tommorrow on "My 200 pounds beauty!"

There. Evil thoughts.
11:55 PM

Well, in addition to the list posted a few days ago, here's the ULTIMATE stuff you should NEVER, I repeat, NEVER EVER attempt to do if you must dodge a bullet.

#(Cream of the top?) Attempt to do the following stunt.



'Nuff said. Or else, be prepared to become this INSTEAD.
(Watch from the back 0:16 onwards)




There. Evil thoughts.
3:53 PM

Speaking about death, here's a pretty morbid, but interesting statistics aptly named the Realtime Death Toll Counter.


Just looking at this gives me the chills. "tick-tock!", someone in this world pass away. Tick, tick, tick.

Anyways, here's the Chingy's list of things you should NOT do if you meet someone who wants your life, with a gun.

#3 Hurl sarcastic remarks, vulgarities and calling him/her a loser.

Never ever do this. Murderer with a gun don't think with their head. Don't think of challenging him by telling him:" YOU CHICKEN, I DARE YOU TO SHOOT ME! LOLOL!" Rather, convince him with a dozen reasons why he should not kill you. Think about all the police shows you've watched. The police always convinces the murderer to drop their gun by telling him he still have 5 kids to feed, 1 frail ahma to look after and his wife waiting for him on the bed. STUFF LIKE THAT.


You never know if he's REALLY A CHICKEN. Attempting to scare him in the hope of him dropping the gun is futile. Rather, you never know that BOO! might cost you your life because he might just accidentally pull the trigger. So Elyn! Stop saying BOO!

#1 Run in the same direction as the gun is pointing.

Need I say more? You can't run at the speed of Superman, but at least run in the direction where the gun is not facing you. Running in a straight line as the gun would get you killed faster than superman can run.

So there you go, Chingy's list of stuff you should NOT do if you face a murderer with a gun. Thank me for saving your life.

P.S Oh, the above things only applies if the murderer is carrying a watergun. For any other guns, I am not held liable for any deaths.

There. Evil thoughts.
2:30 AM

There. Evil thoughts.
3:20 AM

All right finally the much anticipated, first-of-its-kind Arian Movie review #1 is going to be featured here at evil-thoughts. If you're holding on to the last piece of that $10 note looking for a really great movie to chill out, then you'd better thank me later for saving you from the misery OR giving you a great weekend.



Rating/Category: G/ (This icon means it's cartoon, like DUH)

Plot: A genius and a technology geek- Lewis, meets someone from the future and surprise, surprise! The stranger brings Lewis over to the future. Random evil disruption plans from the bad guys. Good battles the bad. So power-ranger plot.

Review: To start off, this movie isn't bad at all seriously. Compared to other Walt Disney films like Toy Story, this is definitely "less-yawnable". Lots of interesting twists in the story plot really makes you sit up and munch at the popcorn furiously towards the end of the show. During the middle though, the story progression is s..l..o..w and you would almost want to tell the main character to JUST DO IT and stop struggling with his inner self for 15 minutes.

Be prepared though, for the most boring timeframe whereby the main character - Lewis, is transported to the future and there's this series of "WOW THIS IS AMAZING I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS!", for a great 10 minutes. To think this came from a genius. Like DUH! WHOEVER FROM THE PRESENT CAN SEE ANYTHING FROM THE FUTURE GETS FREE POPCORN from me! (Clairvoyants excluded)

Bad points aside, this movie makes a great chill out movie for those who are just stressed up at work/school and just want something that is fresh and at the same time humorous so that you can laugh it all off. The kids in the theater who always laughs at those "popeye-kind-of-humour" kinda rubs off you unknowingly because their laughter is just so infectious, even though you find the humour exaggerated and lame. It made me want to have a kid right there. Those babies that laughs uncontrollably when you press their stomach you can get from Toys R Us. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? MAKE OUT IN THE KIDS-FILLED CINEMA? Eeew.

Rating:

There. Evil thoughts.
2:30 AM

Have you ever read a review on a particular movie by those "critics", decides to watch it because it was given a 4 or 5 stars, then walk out of the cinema thinking how you could have BETTER spent the $9.50 on 4 plates of chicken rice and still have enough change to buy a prata-gosong? One very good example was the movie 2046 released around 2004.

The newspaper gave it a thumbs-up rating, critics from all over the world gave positive, glowing reviews, Faye Wong, Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung are all in the cast, what better reason to not watch it? So we happily went to watch it, only to realise it's a WHAT-THE-HELL-DID-I-DO-TO-MY-$9.50 flabbergastingly-bad movie. I yawned 143 times throughout the 2 hours and for the first time I see popcorn thrown at the screen from the back. (With one landing into my yawning mouth)
So, where does the problem lies? One professor from the International Jenius University of Genius, apparently has the answer and is willing to publish his report EXCLUSIVELY at evil-thought, on the request of staying anonymous but WHO CARES, I'm going to show his picture here.


Problem: Critics' review are not always correct, or rather, they don't usually suit our individual taste, and this leads to disappointments, tears, and in extreme cases depression because of $9.50 wasted. As a result of incorrect movie reviews, one's physical, emotional and pockets are hurt because, your butt hurts after sitting through the whole boring movie (physical), you are saddened about your $9.50 (emotional) and obviously your $9.50 could be spent on better things.

Solution: A very own Horoscope Movie Review! It has been proven by many experts that people of the same horoscope are more likely to have the same characteristics, tastes and even bra size. A movie reviewed by a person of the same horoscope would thus, be more accurate for people to judge whether or not they want to watch the movie.

Therefore, after this professor's report, I've decided to have my very own "Arian Movie Reviews" EXCLUSIVELY @ evil-thought.blogspot.com. This would be a weekly feature and movies reviewed would be movies that I've watched. (Yes I'm a movie fanatic) Starting from tomorrow, people whose birthday falls from March 21 to April 19, or simply put, ARIES, have a more reliable source to decide on the movies that they would want to watch and therefore, can save themselves from all the physical, emotional and pocket hurt. A NEW SAVIOUR OF $9.50 IS BORN. Only at evil-thought.blogspot.com

There. Evil thoughts.
2:40 AM

After much thoughts, I decided to set up a blog to well, test my blogging skills. Stuff I would be blogging on would range from random blabbering to random blabbering. jkghjkdfsasfwe. You should have expected that. So to start off my very first post, here's a pretty funny joke I heard on Morning Muttons that YOU SHOULD LOL.

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Darryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together. Darryl arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Darryl said,"Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over, and Darryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thought this was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes." "What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician. Yup, I've never seen 'em, but everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town folks would say
"Here comes Bubba with the two assholes."

LOL. Ok now here's a deal for you. Would you like to have $10 gift vouchers at places like Takashimaya, Tangs, NTUC Fair Price, Popular Bookstore just by doing surveys? If this sounds good to you, then send me a email at evilbean1988@yahoo.com for more details! LET'S ORGANIZE A SHOPPING SPREE AT NTUC when we all have accumulated $100 worth of NTUC vouchers and watch the cashier face when we dump 100 packs of TWISTIES for her to scan!

There. Evil thoughts.
7:47 AM